We can all use a good laugh...

I know we all can use a good laugh and so did my friend
who sent me this it is hilarious!
Enjoy!!!

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at
2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said, 'How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife said, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to
know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,
'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You
dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his
apartment unexpectedly and when she opened the door,
she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse
to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it
to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me,
I know all of them.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told
her she was pregnant?

'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
freshman, sat in her US Government class.

The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, 'That
was the decision George Washington had to make
before he crossed the Delaware .'

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer approached
the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the
police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.